


Apologies

by violaswimmer



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Family Fluff, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:40:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22366528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violaswimmer/pseuds/violaswimmer
Summary: Jaskier, having been told to never appear in front of Geralt of Rivia again, tries to distract himself from losing a decade long friendship. But as Jaskier vows to avoid Geralt as he requested, destiny has other plans.
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 3
Kudos: 146





	Apologies

**Author's Note:**

> Originally started on Tumblr, might continue might not we'll see! Let me know if you'd like to read more~

"You can't keep doing this, Jaskier." Calpurnia said for the third time that week. Or was it the fourth? It was hard to keep track after so many ales. 

Jaskier nursed his fifth ale as he stared past Calpurnia's left ear. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't look into her eyes, she had far too many of them. Her green eyes danced away from his vision as her duplicates swirled around her. Her curly brown hair blended in with her pale complexion which was covered in freckles. Her white shirt left little to the imagination, not that Jaskier complained, she liked to look that way and he liked to look.

"I can do whatever I please, Callie." Jaskier stated and he hoped it sounded more convincing but was surely slurred. The look on Calpurnia's face suggested the latter. Especially realizing that he had said that to her chest. Calpurnia snorted at him as she tried to hide a laugh behind her hand. 

  
  


Jaskier went to roll his eyes but it caused the world to spin too much and he promptly laid his head on to his arm to make it  _ stop.  _ Normally Jaskier could hold his liquor better than men twice his size, despite his small stature. Years of drinking can give you that kind of ability (whether impressive or sad, that's up to you) but drinking pretty much nothing but ale for a week was causing some ill desired consequences. He groaned into his arm, the ale left the most terrible sour taste in his mouth. 

Calpurnia, bless her, placed a comforting hand on his back, rubbing it up and down. It made the world a bit more solid and a bit more gentle. 

"Come now, my dear and very drunk bard. Let me help you to your room." She said gently, already placing her arms around him to help him stand. 

Jaskier did his best to stand but noticed he wasn't doing a great job as Calpurnia kept a very steady grip around his shoulders. She had always been the strong one between the two of them so it wasn’t really a problem. The world could be very cruel to women, but Calpurnia refused to let it be cruel to her, her strength went far beyond the physical and Jaskier knew that well. 

The two of them made their way through the bar to a small set of stairs. The tavern was noticeably less full now, as it was quite early in the morning. The stairs were considerably more difficult as Jaskier’s spinning head did no favors to navigate them. Calpurnia made up for the lack of mobile ability but accidentally jammed one of Jaskier’s toes which he couldn’t feel anyway.

“Oops.” Calpurnia hissed, “Up you go.” She continued, guiding Jaskier up the final step as they entered the small, cramped hallway of the inn. 

Calpurnia fished through Jaskier’s jack pocket as he did his best not to fall over, retrieving the key to his room and unlocking it. She hefted his weight across the small chamber, the back of his knees hitting that bed as his body suddenly became horizontal which caused his stomach to protest quite violently. He had not laid down for more than a couple of seconds before he surged into a sitting position. Calpurnia shiftly produced the chamber pot which he promptly vomited into. Well there goes his dinner. 

After Jaskier’s stomach finally stopped it’s dry heaving, he sat back against the headboard with a moan. Calpurnia placed some pillows behind him and brushed some hair from his forehead, her touch was soothing and he leaned into it.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. She continued to gently pet his hair. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, we all have our moments.” She assured.

“Not a weeks worth, not a months worth. I’m a mess.” Jaskier sighed, opening his eyes to look at her. 

She still spun, but her green eyes were in focus. He loved her eyes, like grass in the height of summer with little flecks of gold in the center. He loved her little freckles too, like little stars across her skin. She wasn’t the most beautiful woman Jaskier had met. She had too many muscles, too many scars, her hair was never brushed, her lips a bit too small and her nose a bit too big. But she was beautiful, sincere, kind and strong in ways that Jaskier rarely saw in others. 

“You’ve been hurt, you’re in pain, it’s a normal reaction considering the circumstances.” She reasoned.

“Right, having a man tell me to fuck off is enough reason for this behavior. I’m acting like a spoiled child…” He complained, pushing himself into a better sitting position. Calpurnia’s hand hovered a moment before dropping back into her lap. She eyebrows furrowed together.

“It wasn’t nothing Jaskier! You and Geralt have been friends for over a decade, you two were very close…” She reasoned.

“He didn’t think that, apparently.” Jaskier grumbled.

“You were! You always said that Geralt wasn’t good with his words. It would stand to reason that he would be bad at navigating relationships too.” Calpurnia continued, her hand reached out and grabbed Jaskier’s hand and held it lightly. 

“I don’t think he meant what he said. But either way what he said to you was wrong. You didn’t just cause him grief Jaskier, you aren’t to blame for the things that cause him plight.” She reasoned. 

Jaskier looked at their hands. Calpurnia was good at this bit, comforting people, reasoning with them when they were being unreasonable. She hadn’t always been, and he had done his fair share of comforting her in the past. Part of him wanted to give into the fantasy that Geralt would come to him one day and say he was sorry, that it was all a mistake. But she didn’t know the White Wolf, or the way he had looked at Jaskier that day. 

**_If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands!_ **

Even though it had been so long, a month almost, the words still stung every bit as when they were first said. Jaskier really had thought all this time that Geralt viewed him as a friend, but perhaps he only saw him as a nuisance. Perhaps Jaskier was the one who was mistaken. 

Jaskier smiled sadly as his vision got a bit too hazy,  _ don’t cry!  _ Calpurnia squeezed his hand.

“I wish that were true, Callie. I really do. But I think maybe I was mistaken. Maybe I thought we were friends, or companions or whatever you want to call it. I thought we were and apparently we weren’t.” He confessed softly, his voice a little shaky. 

“Oh Dandelion, I’m sorry.” Calpurnia whispered.

There was a pause as Jaskier registered what she said. He snorted, wiping his nose and looked at Calpurnia’s face who grinned. 

“Here I am, vulnerable, broken, depressed and you pull out that horrendous nickname! Ugh can we stop? It was one time!” Jaskier begged.

“One time is enough, my flower. I can’t believe you thought that eating a whole bucket would make your skin better.” She said with a laugh.

“Hey! There are benefits to dandelions in skin care! I was a teenager and desperate!” Jaskier protested.

“Yes when you put them in an oil. But when you  _ eat _ them they are a laxative.” Calpurnia clarified, “You were chained to the privy for  _ days _ it was all the temple talked about for weeks!” She giggled.

Jaskier opened his mouth to protest, or say a joke about how he probably lost five pounds due to the incident but Calpurnia continued to giggle and he ended up just watching her with a smile. When she gained control of herself she smiled at him too.

“It’s okay, whether or not it was a funny incident, I think dandelions suit you. They’re a bright yellow like the sun, and when their time is done their seeds are spread through the wind. Much like your stories, they live on and never truly die.” Calpurnia said, giving his hand a squeeze. 

And that of course caused his tears to return. 

“Seeds? I thought instead of stories you were going to talk about all my illegitimate children.” Jaskier laughed, though it was undermined by the tears going down his face.

Calpurnia snorted and smiled sadly as she wiped one of them away. 

“Alright, enough of that. Time to sleep, I’ll send up some water for you.” She said, pushing him onto the bed and promptly taking off his booths to tuck him in. She placed a kiss on his forehead, it reminded him of what a mother would do. His never did, but this was better.

“I love you, you know. I don’t know how you put up with me.” Jaskier said as she still leaned over him. She kneeled next to him for a moment to look him in the eyes and smiled. 

“I don’t put up with you, Jaskier. I love you, and I always will. Now, sleep, my flower.” She whispered. She brought the blanket up to his chin, blew out the candle on the nightstand and left the room. 

Jaskier closed his eyes, and for once his mind was not filled with Geralt’s voice but rather Calpurnia’s laughter. Even if he couldn’t see Geralt of Rivia again, at least he had Calpurnia and that was enough for him.

* * *

  
  


When Geralt entered the tavern, it was approaching noon. He and Ciri were in desperate need of supplies, the journey to Kaer Morhen was long and the two of them needed to stock up before the rest of the journey there. Geralt came into the tavern with Ciri in tow, it was a dank place of wood and stone. A few patrons here and there, some of them stared, some of them didn’t. 

Geralt sat the two of them at a table, finishing out some coin. It had been awhile since he took a job, the coin would be enough for supplies but he wasn’t sure if he had enough to get a room for the night. He looked at Ciri with her new brown cloak, replacing the tattered blue one she had been traveling in before. She looked cold and exhausted, like she could really use a bed before they only camped for weeks. Geralt considered the options as two plates of food were placed in front of himself and Ciri. 

A woman with curly brown hair, light green eyes and freckled pale skin stood before them with a smile. She wore no armor, or so it appeared. But her corset was reinforced with hardened, studded leather, her pants had similar qualities. She carried two daggers and a long sword at her side. Notably, one of the daggers she carried was made of silver.  _ Interesting,  _ Geralt thought.

“We didn’t order this.” Geralt said. 

“I know.” The woman replied, pushing the plates to the two of them. Geralt halted Ciri’s eager hand as she went for the spoon.

“Ah, suspicious I see. Here, allow me then.” The woman said, reaching for the spoon in Ciri’s bowl, taking a taste of the beef stew in it. She swallowed, and seemed to be fine. She did the same with Geralt’s. She then gestured to the two of them, taking a seat on the opposite side of the table. Ciri looked at Geralt and once he nodded, dug into her food. 

Geralt on the other hand, didn’t proceed as eagerly, though he had a bite or two. The woman remained seated, watching them.

“And who am I to thank for a free meal?” Geralt asked.

“Calpurnia.” She answered simply, “Though it is hardly free.” Calpurnia clarified. Geralt smiled ruefully.

“It rarely is.” He replied. 

Calpurnia smiled as well, on closer inspection of her, Geralt noticed that she had an air of confidence. It wasn’t undeserved, even her long sleeves couldn’t hide the fact that she was well built. Her outfit and weapons were subtle enough that people would overlook her; yet they looked well used which suggested that she was not an opponent you would want in a fight.

“I’m here to ask for your help. You are Geralt of Rivia, yes?” She said.

“I’m not currently taking jobs.” Geralt clarified. She continued like he hadn’t spoken.

“It’s about a bard you were once traveling with…” She continued.

“I am not traveling with Jaskier anymore.” Geralt said. 

“For a witcher you’re quite chatty. Do you intend to continue to interrupt me? Or am I allowed to speak?” Calpurnia said sharply, like a mother scolding her son. There was a pause. Even Ciri stopped eating for a moment. Geralt pressed his lips into a hard line before grinding out.

“Please. Continue.” He growled. 

“Thank you.” She said with a smile before continuing, “Like I said, I’m here to speak to you about Jaskier. I’m a friend of his, and he’s in a bad way at the moment.” She said.

Geralt looked at her sharply.

“Is he hurt?” He asked, his voice not as calm as he would have hoped. Calpurnia shook her head.

“No, he’s fine. Well not exactly fine, he’s probably very hung-over.” Calpurnia said.

Geralt relaxed, and Calpurnia seemed to study his reaction. He shifted uncomfortably, trying to look nonchalant. 

“Well then he seems fine.” Geralt said, looking at the table instead of the woman across from him.

“ _ Fine _ is a relative term. He’s been drinking himself to death since a certain someone said some choice words to him a month ago.” Calpurnia said sharply. 

Geralt’s eye twitched at her tone, it was angry with a hint of venom. This Calpurnia seemed to care for Jaskier very much, enough to confront a witcher she doesn’t know. 

“And what is it exactly that you want me to do about it? I’m a bit busy at the moment.” Geralt said, gesturing to Ciri next to him who was now cleaning her plate with a hard piece of bread.

Calpurnia bristled and leaned across the table, her green eyes grabbing his attention as they were lit on fire. 

“Listen here, Geralt of Rivia, you clearly care about Jaskier. That much was obvious when you thought he was injured and everytime I say his name you get a pained expression on your face. Now you aren’t the first witcher I’ve met, and you won’t be the last. I know perfectly well that witchers aren't stone cold monsters that people think they are. You feel just as much as everyone else, what you lack is a way to control it. So you hide behind a stone face and a cold exterior until all those feelings build up and explode at the first person you see when you’re hurt. This time it was Jaskier.” Calpurnia spat, her voice was low.

Ciri’s eyes were large orbs as she watched this woman, considerably smaller than Geralt give him a talking to. Geralt bit the inside of his mouth as he felt his own anger rise. But none of what she said was wrong, so he remained silent. 

“Now,” Calpurnia said, leaning back from the table, “What I want you to do is sit here and wait for poor hung over Jaskier to make his appearance.” She said, taking a swig of her ale. 

“He’s here?” Geralt asked quietly. 

“Yes, sleeping it off upstairs. Stay here, I’ll pay for as much food and drink as you and your companion would like. Just stay here, and talk to him when he comes down.” Calpurnia commanded.

“What… what if he doesn’t want to talk to me?” Geralt muttered. 

Calpurnia looked at him for a moment and smiled sadly. 

“Oh Geralt, Jaskier isn’t the type to be angry at you.” She said softly, “When a relationship falls apart, Jaskier always assumes he’s the one at fault. Even if he isn’t. Just wait for him, please.” She begged softly. 

Geralt looked at her and nodded. She smiled and stood going to the bar and placing down some coin. He heard her say that she’ll pay for whatever the two of them wanted before she left the establishment. Geralt watched her go, feeling strange, nervous and shocked at the conversation he had just had with a complete stranger. He was only pulled back into reality when Ciri tapped his arm. 

“Are you going to eat that?” She asked sincerely as she pointed to his food. 

He thought it over for a moment. 

“No.” He said, pushing the now lukewarm plate over to her. She ate it eagerly, though Geralt didn’t notice her, keeping a close eye on his pensive face, wondering who this Jaskier was.

* * *

It was nearly an hour later when Jaskier finally made his appearance. When Calpurnia said he was in a bad way, she had not been exaggerating. His brown hair, which he normally kept clean and styled was a mess, sticking to his forehead in places and standing straight up in others. He was normally pale but seemed almost translucent in the early afternoon light which emphasized his unshaved face. He had dark circles under his eyes as they squinted in the general direction of the bar. His clothes were rumpled, and to Geralt’s surprise he was still wearing the red outfit he had seen him in last. Jaskier had more clothing changes than Geralt had horses, which was saying something. So to see him in the same outfit a month later was as concerning as the rest of his appearance. 

Jaskier walked to the bar, taking no notice of Geralt, sitting down as he requested a drink and some food. He laid his head against his arms as he waited. Geralt swallowed, turning to Ciri who held a cup of water between her hands.

“I’ll be right back.” He said. Ciri nodded and watched him go to Jaskier at the bar.

He stepped up behind him, Jaskier was quiet and unmoving. Geralt cleared his throat. Jaskier sighed, raising his head.

“Look, I’m hungover, I’ll sing for you in the ev-” Jaskier’s voice cut off in the middle of his sentence as he focused on Geralt’s face. There was a moment of complete silence between the two of them as they just stared at each other.

“Geralt.” Jaskier whispered. 

“Jaskier.” Geralt said, unsure of how to continue this conversation.

“I-I’m sorry, I should go and leave you to whatever business you have here.” Jaskier said quickly, standing quite abruptly.

“What?” Geralt said, “Wait, Jaskier.” Geralt begged as Jaskier continued towards the stairs, although he paused a moment.

“You made it  _ quite _ clear that I was never to show myself to you again.” Jaskier clarified, continuing up a step, “I’ll just gather my things and leave you to- Shit!” He cried as he stubbed the same toe on the same step as last night. He really felt it this time. He placed a hand on the railing as he bent over his foot in a bit too much pain to move. 

Geralt hastily crossed the room so he was at the bottom of the stairs. 

“I- are you alright?” He asked.

“Yeah I’m fine, just give me a moment.” Jaskier sighed. There was a pause as Jaskier straightened but before he could continue up the steps Geralt spoke.

“I came to talk to you.” Geralt admitted, “I came to apologize.” He said softly. 

For several seconds there was silence, just Geralt staring at Jaskier’s back as he said nothing. Suddenly he turned around, looking at Geralt with a strange expression on his face. 

“Really?” Jaskier asked. 

“Really.” Geralt said, scratching his neck, “Would you like to join us? We can talk over there.” Geralt said, pointing to the table were Ciri sat. She waved. 

“Us?” Jaskier asked, looking at Ciri and whispered, “Is that the child of surprise?!” He hissed. 

“Yes!” Geralt hissed back, “Just, will you come please?” Geralt asked. 

“I- Um, yes. Please, lets.” Jaskier said, trying to regain his composure. The two of them went to the table and sat, Jaskier smiling at Ciri as he took the place that Calpurnia had sat not long ago. 

“Hello.” Jaskier greeted. 

“Hello, I’m um, Fiona.” Ciri said with a small smile of her own. 

Jaskier raised a brow at Geralt who gave a shrug as if to say,  _ just go with it. _

“Hello, Fiona. I’m Jaskier, it’s good to meet you.” He said sincerely, glad that she was with Geralt and not dead in Cintra as he had feared when he had heard of the fall. 

“Same to you.” She answered, taking a drink from her water glass. 

There was a pause until Geralt cleared his throat. 

“So um- I wanted to say that I was sorry for the things I said to you on the mountain. I didn’t mean it, I was frustrated and upset that Yennefer left and you were the first person I saw. So I just, let all my frustration out on you.” Geralt said, “But either way, it wasn’t right. I should have found you sooner to properly apologize, but I had to see to Fiona’s safety.” He clarified. Jaskier nodded.

“I understand, I mean it wasn’t like what you said wasn’t entirely valid. I had dragged you to that banquet and interrupted your djinn quest…” Jaskier said with a sigh.

“It doesn’t make what I said right. You didn’t cause what happened after, to happen. That was all my own decision, I was the one who invoked the Law of Surprise. It was I who made the wish, you did none of those things. It was wrong of me to blame you for it. I’m sorry.” Geralt said sincerely if sounding a bit unsure. It had been a long time since Geralt of Rivia apologized for anything.

Jaskier was silent for a moment before he smiled.

“I accept your apology.” He said. Geralt’s shoulders visibly sagged as the tension rushed out of him, he too smiled at his old friend. 

“How did you end up finding me anyway?” Jaskier asked, as the food he was ordered was placed in front of him as well as his drink. He thanked the barmaid as she left.

“I didn’t, we stopped for supplies and came into the inn for a meal when your friend Calpurnia approached us.” Geralt said, raising his hand at the barmaid and pointing to Jaskier’s plate. She nodded and returned to the kitchen to fetch Geralt some food as well.

“Calpurnia was here?” Jaskier asked between bites, “I thought she had already left for the day…” He wondered. 

“Yes, she said she’d pay for our food and drink if I agreed to wait for you and talk to you. I thought you’d be angry with me as well, so I hesitated to speak with you. Calpurnia convinced me otherwise. She left not an hour before you came down.” Geralt said, taking a swig from his drink.

Jaskier laughed.

“That does sound like her, I hope she didn’t leave town today. I should thank her before she leaves again.” He mused, continuing to eat. 

Geralt watched him a moment before he spoke, curiosity getting the better of him.

“You know her well, right? She mentioned I wasn’t the first witcher she’s met, she also carried a silver dagger.” Geralt asked. 

Jaskier smirked at him between bites.

“I thought Yennefer was your one true love?” Jaskier teased. Geralt glared at him, “Alright! I’m just kidding.” He laughed as he took another bite before continuing. 

“Calpurnia and I went to temple school together, she and I became fast friends. We parted when we graduated, I went on to University and she traveled for awhile. As I understand it, she met a witcher in her travels. The two of them were quite close and he gave her the dagger. Eventually they had to go their separate ways, but he promised to meet her again after a job in Temeria. He never returned.” Jaskier said sadly, “I was there with her, we met up in a tavern like this one. She waited and waited, for weeks. He never showed up. She was heartbroken. I think his name was Remus.” Jaskier finished. 

_ Remus, Temeria,  _ Geralt thought before he remembered. The witcher who took the coin for the striga, Princess Adda and never came back. The one that Triss spread the rumor that he had ran off with the coin. Geralt closed his eyes briefly, feeling for Calpurnia in a way he wouldn’t have understood unless he was experiencing it himself. Yennefer was still missing, and it tore him to pieces. He couldn’t imagine going years without knowing what had happened to someone you cared about. When he opened them again Jaskier continued. 

“After that we traveled together, I tried to keep her mind off of it. We separated when I found you again. Honestly when I don’t travel with you, I’m traveling with her. She’s good company.” Jaskier said with a smile. 

As if destiny was playing a funny game, the door opened and Calpurnia stepped in. The tavern had a few more patrons present so it took a moment before she spotted the two of them, Jaskier waving her over. She grinned upon seeing them at the same table and made her way over quickly to meet them. 

“I hope everything is well?” Calpurnia said, eyeing Geralt. 

“Why yes it is!” Jaskier exclaimed, “I hear you have something to do with that?” He asked. 

“Nonsense, I just simply pointed Geralt in the right direction.” Calpurnia said with a smile. 

Geralt snorted, taking a swig of his drink. 

“I’ll need to repay you for the food.” Geralt said.

“No need, it’s a gift from a friend.” Calpurnia said. Geralt paused at the sentiment, but saw a genuine look in Calpurnia’s eyes. Jaskier watched the two of them as Geralt rummaged through his sack. 

“Then maybe this will do.” He said, producing the wolf medallion of Remus. He was going to return it to Kaer Morhen but perhaps it was meant to go to someone else. 

Calpurnia stared at the medallion, taking a rather rough seat on a stool by the table. Jaskier watched as a single tear came down her face.

“Callie?” He asked with concern.

She didn’t answer but reached out for the medallion as Geralt placed it into her open palms. 

“Where did you get this?” She whispered turning it over in her hands. Each medallion was nearly identical except for the back, which had carved into it the chosen name of the witcher. Calpurnia traced Remus’s name with her finger. 

“Temeria. I’m sorry to say that he died trying to save some workers from a striga. Though he didn’t know it was a striga at the time.” He paused, “Jaskier told me about Remus when I asked why you carried a silver dagger. When he mentioned it, I remembered that I still had the medallion. It’s yours. I’m sure he would want you to have it.” Geralt said softly. 

She pressed it between her palms, and held it over her heart. 

“Thank you. I never thought I would see it again. I never thought I would hear what had happened to him. So, thank you.” She said, green eyes glassy. She scrubbed her eyes and face with the back of her sleeve and smiled sincerely. She took the medallion and wore it, placing it underneath her shirt just over her heart. 

Geralt smiled at her as well, and Jaskier watched with a smile. There was a moment of silence before it was Ciri who spoke.

“I’m sorry Miss Calpurnia, but if you feel up to it… I’d love to hear how you and Remus met. Geralt never tells me about his work as a witcher.” She said. 

Jaskier looked like he was about to say something when Calpurnia interrupted. 

“I would love to tell you, Miss?” Calpurnia asked.

“Fiona.” Ciri answered

“Fiona, Remus and I met in a small village. He was a dark haired, handsome witcher with a gruff personality and a smoking pipe. And I was young and completely smittened. Earlier that week, a terrible monster had attacked the village. It liked to hunt things and seemed to be hunting a specific person. That person was me. You see I had been in the woods…” Calpurnia began, her tale spun of just enough imagination to make it exciting but enough truth to be believed, a skill she no doubt picked up from Jaskier. 

Food was brought for Geralt, and drinks were had. Jaskier watched Calpurnia as she told the tale to young Ciri, a tale he had never heard before. When Remus had disappeared so had his story, Calpurnia refused to speak of him, his disappearance too painful. But with the mystery solved, it seemed like Calpurnia couldn’t tell his story fast enough. Jaskier’s eyes were drawn to Geralt as he watched Ciri, who was enthralled by the story. He had a soft smile on his face, which he gave to Jaskier when he noticed him staring at him. Jaskier smiled back. 

He could make a ballad out of this. 

_**\- FIN -** _


End file.
